a cork board

AMpMon, 05 Apr 2010 10:27:29 +000027Monday 1, 2010, 10:27 am
Filed under: the mirror

I’ve been thinking a lot about family. I come from such a big one. my dad has 8 brothers and 2 sisters. I have 27 cousins (all on my dad’s side). I have 5 brothers and 1 sister. I live within a hour of 5 of my cousins, 2 uncles and 1 aunt. I’m 8 hours from 2 of my brothers and 24 hours from the rest of them, along with my parents. that’s all driving time. that’s pretty far from everyone. I look around at most of my friends in Canada and see how close they are to their family in proximity and a part of me wonders if I’ve been running from the fact that I always felt like I was different all along. I was always trying to fit in but felt like I just never would, no matter what. looking back, the faces in my life have changed so dramatically over the years and the longer I go without talking to the ones that made a difference, the harder it becomes to pick up the phone. we become strangers to one another. I don’t know what I’m getting at. I just know that I’ve been thinking a lot about who Keshav will grow up calling his family. I’m trying to make an effort to reach out to my blood more but I realize it may not always work out the way I will intend it to. out of my 8 uncles and 2 aunts, a handful of them don’t even speak to one another. I’ve just been wanting to re-connect with the ones that matter…whether they’ll have me or not remains to be seen. I just know that I’m the one who is holding the cards…and it’s time to play and stop folding.


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