a cork board


to blog…or not to blog
AMpWed, 12 Jan 2011 11:18:19 +000018Wednesday 1, 2010, 11:18 am
Filed under: the ether, the mirror, Uncategorized | Tags: , , ,

Sometimes I wonder why I have this blog. I find myself sitting down and fishing for topics. I ask myself, what should I write about today?, and I usually end up writing nothing. When I do write, it’s a spur of the moment thing, there’s usually some event or person that pushes me into it. That’s why my posts are so far and few in between. Even today, I couldn’t figure out what to write about so I decided to ask myself out loud what I want to get out of this blog. Am I reaching out to the masses to educate, to entertain, to question or just to express myself? Sometimes I find myself filtering my thoughts here and trying to appeal to some mass public that’s out there. But really, who gives a flying fuck? But there are other times when I enjoy having this blog so much because I can be myself without making any apologies. I don’t have to explain myself or appeal to anyone but me. But if I’m pissing people off, then my number of reader’s goes down and no ones hears what I have to say. But then I back off and ask myself again, who gives a fuck?

The reason I started a blog is pretty funny actually. I was clicking around the internet and facebooking (hard to believe that’s become a verb now) my friends and poets and other people. And I noticed something…everyone has a blog. I took a long, hard look at people like Perez Hilton and people who are just passionate about something. So, what do they do? They create a format where they can express themselves and explore that passion, or exploit it. Some people become incredibly successful from a simple, little blog doo-hickey and things just start booming. Then I remember my dear friend Lara’s blog (http://bozabalian.wordpress.com/), and I remember when I first found; it felt so natural. It felt like it was just somewhere for her to place her thoughts. I scrolled through and noticed the posts were not every week, there was no schedule to them. Then I saw people popping up with blogs everywhere. And I said to myself, Self, everyone and their mother has a blog, who’s to say you can’t have one too? So I created this thing.

I didn’t want it to be a place where I posted only poetry. I didn’t want it to be some entertainment blog. I just wanted it to be somewhere on the inter-web that represented me, that’s it. So I write about anything and everything that comes to my mind. That’s why I named it a cork board; so that I can just post my thoughts and look back at them from time to time. I’ve always had these moments that pass so quickly and before I know it my thoughts are gone and I can’t place them. So this thing is like a big notebook or a cork board the size of Louisiana and I’m just trying to fill with an endless supply of thumb tacks, pen and paper in my pocket. And every now and then I can step back and re-enter this portal and reconnect with my thoughts from over the years. Sometimes I wish the administrative end of the blog didn’t tell me how many people read my blog, because I find myself checking the numbers all the time, because I’m not doing this for the numbers. I’m doing this for myself. I’m doing this anyone out there who might be a fan of my work. I’m doing this for my friends and family who live so far away I hardly get to see or speak to you. I hope people read this from time to time. And I just hope that those people feel connected to me when they do. Because if this is a place where I am capturing my thoughts and my expressions, then you can definitely find a piece of me here that you may not find in person. And you will definitely get to know me a little more than you did before. And because of that, we are more connected than yesterday. And that is something to be grateful for.

Be Well & Be Blessed.

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