a cork board

Day 18 / Poem 18 – NaPoWriMo

Love

I’d never understood

the real meaning of it

until I met her.

 

It looked like an accident, really.

A sequence of events unfolded

along with a small string of

unconventional decisions that led me there.

That pointed me in her direction.

It had to have been fate though.

 

I had given up on finding anything real.

I wouldn’t say it happened at first sight,

but she had my undivided attention

and would harbor my affection

in ways I never thought possible.

She led me down a whirlwind path

and straight up into the clouds.

 

It took me about a month to tell her.

We were sitting on the stairs

leading to her apartment.

I told her that I felt so happy

just being around her.

That I longed for her when she was gone.

That I worried when she was away.

 

I told her that I knew it was too early

and I knew she had to leave soon.

That I didn’t want to complicate things

more than we already had, but

I think I’ve fallen in love with you.

 

She squeezed my hand and

looked me long in the eye.

She could see that it was true.

She shed a single tear and we embraced.

In the silence I told her

she didn’t have to say it back,

that I understood if she needed more time,

I just needed to get it off my chest.

She just wasn’t ready.

 

After another month

of late-night phone calls and

being attached almost everyday,

we were sitting on the floor in her sister’s living room.

She placed her lips beside my right ear

and whispered the words

I love you too.

 

My breath escaped me,

water swelled in her eyes and

we embraced so long and so immense

our breath became one.

 

That was almost 14yrs ago.

Love is not an easy thing.

It is joyous.

It is liberating.

Most of all, it is comforting

to know that when you fall asleep at night

there is a spirit to share your dreams with.

 

Love is learning to surrender

in the moments where you feel the most vulnerable.

It is not giving up when you know

that the payoff for any treacherous journey

covered by dark clouds will be

a thousand folds more than you can imagine.

 

It is knowing that you are worthy

of everything you desire.

It is having the confidence to be yourself.

Love is something that you

have to learn through experience,

not through books or

even lessons from your grandfather.

 

When she spoke those words to me

I started to believe that I was worth more.

That cannot be measured by anything

except for the pumping of blood

through an organ that rests between your lungs.

 

We have grown and we have changed

as people over the years.

But we always knew that

we were meant to be,

so we put in the work.

We elevated one another when we needed it.

We gave each other the space when we needed it.

And we have grown strong like a tree

that graciously braves passing storms.

A broken branch, a few fallen leaves

but stronger with roots winding deep into the earth.

 

These days, when I wake up in the morning,

the warmth of her body lying next to me

is like a second sun rising.

I embrace her before I rise.

I exhale into her frame before I begin my day.

And kiss her gentle lips before I rest for the night.

 

These days, I understand the real meaning of Love

because she has been gracious

to learn it with me.