a cork board

losing loyalty
PMpMon, 12 Apr 2010 12:29:42 +000029Monday 1, 2010, 12:29 pm
Filed under: music, the ether, Uncategorized | Tags: , , , , , ,

I got to thinking about loyalty this morning. A co-worker and I came to the consensus that loyalty is one of the things that’s lacking in the modern world and modern living. What got us talking was that we learned that DMX’s wife is writing a tell-all book now that they are separated. I’ve read a bit further into it and it seems she is going to take an “inspirational” tone to it. But I mean, they’ve known each other since she was 11 and been together since she was 18. That’s a long time. And we all know X-Man has been through his share of darkness and crimes and drugs. He’s the real deal and he is not afraid of how he looks in the eyes of the unforgiving public. The man does whatever he does and you gotta respect him for that. But the fact also remains that he has a history of smoking crack and committing serious crimes and loads of other sketchy happenings (like the time he impersonated a FBI agent at JFK to carjack someone). But the last thing he needs is more incriminating stories about him out there, from who he loves and loves him. How many people have had tell-alls written about them. Baseball brothers Jay & Mark McGwire are not even on speaking terms because of a tell-all book where Jay decided to detail steroid-use and other things a brother thought a brother could keep to himself.

I think the reason for this is the opportunistic mind-set people have developed. one of my old trainers used to call it the W.I.I.F.M. (What’s In It For Me?) mentality. Everybody wants to get ahead, not matter the cost or what it takes. Everybody wants to take something from an imaginary pot. So…loyalty goes right out the window. I can’t tell you how many people I’ve heard talk about opportunities, and the topic comes up about other people being affected and in the end it doesn’t matter. it’s self-serving.

I also wanna say that I’m all for self-progression. I’ve been trying to disassociate myself away from negative people for a couple of years now. I think they can be leaches and continuously pull you down in life. What I’m talking about is the close circle of people who you have to be loyal to. That’s immediate family, close family, best friends or anyone else that you just would not cross in the name of a dollar.

I just think that knowing where your loyalties lye is very necessary in life. And the fact that people are consistently willing to sail their brothers, sisters, mothers, fathers, husbands, wives, best friends, or anyone else that matters (dead or alive) down river is very saddening. It comes from wanting to make a quick buck. It takes very little to realize that money can be made, that people want to read scandal, and then you begin sorting out sordid details of your loved one’s life. People also want celebrity more than anything. But it sounds to me like this whole loyalty conversation is leading into may a’new topics…so I will end it here. I think whoever is reading catches my drift. Be loyal to the ones who mean the most to you, what you get back will be worth more than a dollar ever can be. People just need to understand this age-old value…the shit is priceless.


ladies. ladies. ladies
PMpThu, 08 Apr 2010 12:58:16 +000058Thursday 1, 2010, 12:58 pm
Filed under: the ether, the mirror | Tags: , , , , , ,

Ladies. just because a guy is nice to you, doesn’t mean he wants to sleep with you.

I was raised by a single mother in the good ole southern city of Baton Rouge, Louisiana. down there it’s all old time curtsies, square-dancing, door-holding, pleases, thank you’s, yes ma’ams and good days. so I was raised with this southern gentleman-type hospitality. I treat women with courtesy. and because of my awesome Puerto Rican mother, I was taught to treat women as equals.

what I’m getting at is that I treat women with this genuine concern. I smile and I laugh and will always do things like hold the door, let women go first or offer to help with things. it’s not because I don’t think women are capable…it’s out of respect for everything that women give the world. because let’s face it, without women…what would the world be like? there’s a nurturing nature that most men do not have; the men that do have it have learned it from their mothers most likely.

Ladies. if I’m being nice…I’m being nice. please accept this as respect and concern and not come-ons.

now, time and time again my niceties are misconstrued as advances. what can I say? when I see a woman not smiling, I tend to try to make her smile. it’s completely innocent. my wife has told me countless times that not everyone will accept my pleasantries as innocent. some can and usually do take it as a come-on. what often happens is I get these snotty attitudes or I get this really awkward vibe, either way it’s because they think I want to get into their pants. which I don’t.

I want to say that there are quite a few exceptions to this rule. I have a lot of female friends who are just cool like that, they get it. and we have an even exchange of respect and hat-tipping and door-holding. but a lot of the time, I get this self-centered, pig-headed reaction. I can only assume that she is full of herself if she automatically thinks that me (a very happily married man and new father) is trying to swap sweat and fluids with her.

Ladies. I respect you as life-givers, nurturers and keepers of humanity. in essence, I hold you in the highest of regards. so I re-iterate, I’m not hitting on you if I’m being very nice …I’m treating the way you should be. as a Woman.