Filed under: events, pictures, the sweetst thing | Tags: artist, books, children`s book, creative concepts, crowd funding, drawing, dwayne morgan, family day, illustrations, indiegogo, jogindra siewrattan, literature, uftr, up from the roots, yogi
I have been quietly working on the biggest art project my little hand has ever attempted. I’ve been pulling late-night shifts hunched over my desk, with pencil, eraser and pen in hand trying to create a face on paper that would somehow manage to come to life. I am very happy to say I feel like I accomplished bringing that girl to life. Her name is Eden, she was created by Dwayne Morgan of Up From The Roots. Our project is a book that celebrates the love a father has for his daughter.
Dwayne approached me about working on this book in the Fall of last year. My initial reaction?…jump at the opportunity! My secondary reaction?…doubt, fear and worry that I wasn’t capable of pulling it off. I drew a comic character named Shi when I was 14yo, I colored the entire thing in colored pencils and submitted it to Wizard Comic Book Price Guide magazine. But they didn’t publish my artwork. I felt like I failed and convinced myself that working with color was not my forté. As a result, I have predominantly stuck to black and white as an artist. I found my style in doing this, but in the back of my mind I was never content with limiting myself the way I was. So this was a chance I couldn’t pass up. It felt like a door to the world of working artists that I’ve always dreamed of. So I invested in believing in myself. I told myself that I knew I could pull it off. Even as the project pressed on through drafts, character design and finalizing an overall style, Dwayne kept saying to me “I would love to see this in color.”
The evolution of Eden`s design.
I worked harder on these 15 drawings than anything I’ve ever done. I am very proud of my work here and sincerely hope that when you look at Eden and her Papa that you can see and feel 2 characters that are real. My constant motivator was my 2yo daughter and 5yo son. I read him the story, showed him all of the sketches every step of the way! I found ways to inject her smile into the artwork. There are little references to our life that they have immediately recognized. It was truly a labor of love for both Dwayne and myself. That love was always a reflection of the love we have for our little girls. We wanted to share that love with everyone.
Some early color drafts
You can pre-order a copy of the book signed by both of us or simply support the project by visiting our Indiegogo at: http://igg.me/at/beforeiwasborn/x/9696057 You can order packages that include tickets to some of Dwayne Morgan’s marquee poetry events taking place this year as well. Please take the time to visit our page and have a look at the project. If you feel inclined to support, donate or pre-order then that is greatly appreciated (more than you know). If not, then I still thank you for taking the time to invest your thoughts and feelings into something that involved so much of our hearts.
We are planning a launch event in Toronto on the weekend of Family Day. I’ll be posting details to that event shortly. Thank you for reading, for your interest and for being awesome. Your support remains humbling.
Filed under: the ether, the sweetst thing | Tags: cartoon, Disney, Frozen, frozenfanboys, Marvel, movies
Disney’s newest movie ‘Frozen’ is taking the world by storm. I don’t have any figures or statistics to back that up, but believe me, it’s out there. Google or Bing it, it’s all out there. The movie has made almost $900million at the box office and isn’t even done yet. Movie theaters across the country are hosting ‘Frozen’ sing-a-longs on a daily basis and it is still about a month away from DVD release (where it will make a killing). The movie is doing handsomely well. They’re saying this movie (along with ‘Tangled’ and ‘Wreck It Ralph’) is ushering in the dawn of a new golden era over at Disney (the previous being ‘Beauty and the Beast’, ‘ Aladdin’, The Little Mermaid’, etc.). I couldn’t be happier about it. It coincides with me having kids, so hey, I will get to see almost all of them. After watching the world of animation expand and evolve they’ve had to fight for theirs.
My wife and I took our 4yo son to see the movie since those hilarious TV spots got his attention very quickly. He was in awe and he was hooked. The movie sold out and the place was packed wall to wall with parents and droves of little children. Boys and girls alike were in amazement at the wonder of ‘Frozen’. Did I mention us parents were too? Look, ‘Frozen’ is awesome. I’m a 32yo man rockin’ a winter beard and flannel and I’ll admit it, this movie is the bee’s knees. It rocks. You truly experience just about every emotion when watching this movie. So, now that I’ve stated how awesome I think it is, I thought I would list the reasons why ‘Frozen’ is awesome. Here goes.
1. The “true love” foundation to the story is not a princess waiting on her Prince Charming. True love is between sibling, 2 sisters to be exact. The fact that a female lead is not desperately flipping her hair so a man’s attention can give her some self-worth is something to write home about.
2. The female leads in the movie are capable, independent-minded, strong and intelligent women who struggle with finding their place in the world. They’re not completely incapable of surviving without the help of prince charming.
3. The princess does not marry the very first handsome prince that gives her the time of day, though she almost does.
4. There are so many moral victories to be had in this movie: young woman coming of age, meaning of true love, importance of parents/family, sacrifice for the greater good, conquering one’s demons by accepting that negative feelings are okay, a healthy imagination is wondrous and so many more that I cannot think of them.
5. The sequence during the “Do You Wanna Build a Snowman?” song is to ‘Frozen’ what the 2min heart-wrenching sequence was at the beginning of ‘Up’. It will bring a grown man to tears.
6. Oh right, the songs….the songs are not only catchy and heavily sing-a-longable, but they are plot-advancing devices that serve a purpose!
7. They don’t force any modern-day references to make the movie more palatable to current audiences.
8. Lastly, Queen Elsa totally could have been in the X-Men.
That last one can’t leave my mind. In a different time, in a different universe, this entire happenings of this movie would have ended with a visit from Charles Xavier and Magneto. Queen Elsa would be a kick-ass member of the X-Men. Imagine what she could do with her powers at Prof. X’s School for the Gifted. Wow. That’s just awesome. But hey, Disney owns Marvel now right? Maybe they’re ahead of the game here and are really up for crossing their universes and we’ll see an animated Prof. X say he heard some “rumblings from the distant past of a very powerful mutant” or something like that. Wouldn’t that be awesome?! Far fetched, I know. But it certainly has the workings of some serious fan fiction. Look, if they’re gonna send Wolverine into the past in the upcoming ‘X-Men: Days of Future Past’ then this is not that far-off of an idea. That being said, with the super-surge in popularity of superheroes maybe Disney thought “hey! Let’s do a story with princess that has superpowers.” Whatever the gamble was, it has paid dividends.
That is why I think ‘Frozen’ is infinitely awesome. If you have been thinking about seeing it but have been putting it off, go and see if while you can experience it in theater. Adults and children alike can find something magical in this movie. I’m not ashamed to say that I love this movie and will be buying it on Blu Ray when it comes out, not just for my son and daughter, but also for my wife and I. And with the way the leading women are represented in this movie I have zero issues with my daughter watching this movie. She has as much to learn from this movie as my son. She’s only 18months but she’ll see it in her time, because we will have it on the shelf. I’m gonna start using a hashtag to show my love for this movie and see if it picks up. In the name of grown men, bearded or burly or bodybuilders, who are not afraid to show their love for ‘Frozen’ I am gonna start using the hashtag #FrozenFanBoys. If this is you, rock it. Good job Disney, way to break the mold that you yourself have created.
Filed under: poems, the sweetst thing, Uncategorized | Tags: 30/30, NaPoWriMo, National Poetry Month, Poem, Poetry
Little Lessons For Us Both
I’m not used to being admirable,
but he looks to me as if I were the sky.
My son sees my daily actions as models
for what he supposed to do.
My anger, my joy, my sorrow.
My draped shoulders and dragging feet.
He sees everything as a prime example
for how he should behave.
For now, I am his role model.
So I teach him without words
as best as I could.
I make my bed in the morning,
fold my clothes in the evening
and wash my dishes after eating.
But most importantly,
I try to pull my anger
back down and ground it
before it elevates into the clouds.
I do my best to bring my voice
back to earth
when I get frustrated.
For I want to teach him to
deal with conflict without anger.
For my son,
I am the model of a man.
So I’m trying to exhibit compassion,
understanding, patience
and so many other traits that
make a person adaptable to the world.
And I can see his head hang low sometimes.
I see his shoulders fold in as he mopes away.
It is those moments that I sit down with him
and talk him through his feelings.
To help him understand things.
And he wipes his tears,
looks up at me, hugs me tight
and tells me he loves me
before laughing and running off
to grab hold of his favorite toy.
Filed under: poems, the ether, the mirror, the sweetst thing, Uncategorized | Tags: 30/30, NaPoWriMo, National Poetry Month, Poem, Poetry
I haven’t blogged or written a poem in months. Since my daughter was born in July of 2012 I took a voluntary and very intentional step away from writing and performing. I’ve been living miraculous moments and have decided to spend most of my spare time with my family. With that being, lately the page has been calling me back. I’ve been going through a lot where I’m questioning the relevancy of my voice, what I have to say and if it even matters in the world. I know my son looks up to me in ways that are incredible. I know that the 2/3 times he has seen me on stage, there is a sparkle in his eye that uplifts me. So, even if it’s just him that I uplift, I have to write. I used to write to uplift myself, then through poetry slam I tried to uplift the community and the world, then it was my relationship with my wife and now it’s my kids. So, with the page calling me again and my muse ready to make another appearance, I have decided to take on the NaPoWriMo writing challenge once again this year. I tried it last year and I learned a lot about myself, I made it to 22 days (I think). I have no illusions of making it all the way to 30, considering I haven’t written in months. I just want to re-ignite my purpose and my inspiration. I want to kick-start my voice. So, if you’re reading/following, thank you. I have no idea what is going to be coming, but I’m sharing the journey and I hope we can all find something in it that is real and inspired….here is my poem from yesterday.
Day 1/Poem 1
What Matters Most
If I ever let go
of things that lift me up,
I will have to
stand on my own.
Without the people
that lift me up
I will have to
stand as a tree.
Though I know
self-worth is
embedded in self-love,
I feel I will be amiss
without the community
that holds me up.
I fear that I have made
a forest of crutches
from people that I love.
When leaves become brittle,
branches left bare
and bones droop
too low to stand strong,
I lean on them.
When pressures of
day to day
become overcast skies,
I smile with my children
and hug my wife.
They light up my heart.
I look at my family
in amazement.
I wrap my arms
around them.
Thank the Almighty
for all of my blessing.
For they hold me together,
whenever I feel broken.
Filed under: the ether, the sweetst thing | Tags: baby, newborn, parenthood
I remember before our son was born, we went to shop for baby clothes. We started in the Newborn (NB) and 0-3MNTHS section. He wasn’t even born and we were shopping for clothes that were smaller than my forearm. It was surreal. My wife would look at me and say, no that’s too small, and I would just remind her that these little, new lives are oh so tiny. She shook her head in disbelief at how small he/she was going to be.
Well, he was born. And some of those tiny, tiny clothes were actually too big for him. We bought socks that were the size of my pinky finger, hats no bigger than the palm of my hand and onesies that were smaller than my feet. Then time happened. He got bigger and bigger.
As a new parent, you will notice that when you walk into stores they either have the baby clothes in the back or the front. Either way, as your little baby grows into pint-sized toddler material, you begin shopping in different sections of the store. You move to 12MNTHs, then 18MNTHS and finally 24MNTHS. You start to wonder curiously, what does that “T” stand for with the bigger sizes? You learn all of these things as you move along, like there is a difference between 24MNTHS and 2T. Before you know it, you’ve left the baby clothes behind and you’re shopping for a young boy or girl. One of the biggest changes is going to Toys R Us instead of Babies R Us. When that happens, it’s huge (lol).
Right now, we are in the 3T-4T phase. The kid wears a size 8-9 shoe. He’s a big boy. And yet, we are getting ready to start shopping in that baby section again. As of today, my wife is 36 weeks pregnant and due in just 4 weeks. We go and shop for our son, then meander over to the baby section and peruse the NB and 0-3MNTHS rack again. It’s surreal. Of all of the things that are changing and are going to change, this one little detail is sticking with me. How we’ve progressed from the baby section to the toddler, we have literally travelled to another area of the store, and now we’re going back to the infant and newborn section. Life is awesome I tell ya.
Filed under: poems, the sweetst thing | Tags: 30/30, Love, NaPoWriMo, National Poetry Month, Poem, Poetry
Love
I’d never understood
the real meaning of it
until I met her.
It looked like an accident, really.
A sequence of events unfolded
along with a small string of
unconventional decisions that led me there.
That pointed me in her direction.
It had to have been fate though.
I had given up on finding anything real.
I wouldn’t say it happened at first sight,
but she had my undivided attention
and would harbor my affection
in ways I never thought possible.
She led me down a whirlwind path
and straight up into the clouds.
It took me about a month to tell her.
We were sitting on the stairs
leading to her apartment.
I told her that I felt so happy
just being around her.
That I longed for her when she was gone.
That I worried when she was away.
I told her that I knew it was too early
and I knew she had to leave soon.
That I didn’t want to complicate things
more than we already had, but
I think I’ve fallen in love with you.
She squeezed my hand and
looked me long in the eye.
She could see that it was true.
She shed a single tear and we embraced.
In the silence I told her
she didn’t have to say it back,
that I understood if she needed more time,
I just needed to get it off my chest.
She just wasn’t ready.
After another month
of late-night phone calls and
being attached almost everyday,
we were sitting on the floor in her sister’s living room.
She placed her lips beside my right ear
and whispered the words
I love you too.
My breath escaped me,
water swelled in her eyes and
we embraced so long and so immense
our breath became one.
That was almost 14yrs ago.
Love is not an easy thing.
It is joyous.
It is liberating.
Most of all, it is comforting
to know that when you fall asleep at night
there is a spirit to share your dreams with.
Love is learning to surrender
in the moments where you feel the most vulnerable.
It is not giving up when you know
that the payoff for any treacherous journey
covered by dark clouds will be
a thousand folds more than you can imagine.
It is knowing that you are worthy
of everything you desire.
It is having the confidence to be yourself.
Love is something that you
have to learn through experience,
not through books or
even lessons from your grandfather.
When she spoke those words to me
I started to believe that I was worth more.
That cannot be measured by anything
except for the pumping of blood
through an organ that rests between your lungs.
We have grown and we have changed
as people over the years.
But we always knew that
we were meant to be,
so we put in the work.
We elevated one another when we needed it.
We gave each other the space when we needed it.
And we have grown strong like a tree
that graciously braves passing storms.
A broken branch, a few fallen leaves
but stronger with roots winding deep into the earth.
These days, when I wake up in the morning,
the warmth of her body lying next to me
is like a second sun rising.
I embrace her before I rise.
I exhale into her frame before I begin my day.
And kiss her gentle lips before I rest for the night.
These days, I understand the real meaning of Love
because she has been gracious
to learn it with me.
Filed under: poems, the sweetst thing | Tags: NaPoWriMo, National Poetry Month, Poem, Poetry
We Danced
It was raining.
We were without care.
The day was winding
without a particular direction.
We stood in the doorway
nd you looked at me and asked
if I wanted to go for a walk.
I stated the obvious,
but it’s raining.
With your carefree smile
you spoke without words,
So, we’ll only get wet.
So we ran into raindrops
the size of grapes.
Your hand in mine.
Our clothes sticking to our skin
and a thousand sentiments
of untold love.
We spun, we ran and
we laughed until our bodies
warmed with mirth.
We did anything but walk.
We danced on the inside.
Pirouettes and cha-chas
and The Waltz.
In the most rudimentary of steps.
We were young and in love,
and we danced.
Filed under: the ether, the mirror, the sweetst thing | Tags: growing, learning, reflecting, thankful
If I could write myself something like an epitaph I would make it sound like the sound of my son’s laughter and my wife’s breathing. If I could carve my name into the engraved riverbeds of slabs of marble I would use my teeth to make my marks.
I would take the stars, the full moon and the entire night sky and stretch it as if it were a canvass across the length of my back. So that I may wear the darkness I enjoy bathing in so much like garments of skin. I would swallow the sun and paint my collarbone the color of the bluest sky known to man or woman. And I would open my palms to the universe in an attempt to capture the essence of the Creator so that I may hope to leave traces of the Good Lord in every mundane task I undertake.
But do not consider me a prophet. I am but a man, a man with flaws who only tries to be a good human being. I try to live according to the laws of the universe and I try to keep my ego confined to a whisper. So I avoid the term “poet” because I associate it with ego. And I don’t even know if that’s right or not. I just know that I don’t like titles. So call me a person instead. Call me human. Because I wear no armor, I am riddled with flaw, I am vulnerable and too open….so I close all of you off to protect my insecure center. Call me what you deem me worthy of. A walking contraction at times, a fortress of conviction in others. But remember that I bleed in a way that is not condusive to bruising. It floods me into corners of isolation and if I could pull the blackness of night upon me as if it were a blanket, I would.
But I arise entangled in covers of the arms of my love every morning and she is the sunshine that shatters the quilts of jilted darkness. I awake to a boy who loves me the way tree loves the Spring. So I thank the Most High everyday for planting reasons right under my nose, reasons that have taken root in the deepest recesses of my heart, reasons to see that life is too beautiful to live in the dark.
Filed under: the ether, the mirror, the sweetst thing | Tags: 2011, anniversary, new year, wedding
The new year always brings about a time to reflect. I reflect on the last year and what changes it has brought about in me, what obstacles I have faced (within and without), how I dealt those changes and obstacles and what I can take away from them as another year of my life. I also use it to look into the next year and try to decide what I would like to accomplish. This has become increasingly easier over the last few years (maybe it’s because age brings focus). But more and more, as the clock strikes midnight, it feels like just another day and I am left with a distaste at the influx of resolutions and the tidal wave of well wishes and inspirational quotes that flood statuses and text message inboxes.
But don’t worry, this post is not about new years eve or new years day or even new year’s resolutions (well, sort of). This is about my wife and I making it to 10 years of marriage. I got married when I was 18 years old. Everyone told me that I was making a mistake; that I was too young, too inexperienced; even that it was puppy love. But I’ve always been a level-headed person, I have always been able to think things through and been adept at making decisions (follow-through is a whole different story). But there was never a doubt in my 18 year-old mind that I was making the right decision. I was steadfast in my resolution to get married, that I had been lucky enough to find the right person and I was not about to let that go. There was not a single doubt in my mind, those came a bit later.
Marriage is not easy. It’s quite hard in fact. There is a lot of compromise, a lot of letting go and a lot of holding on. I come from a family full of pride, but I wasn’t always the most proud of the bunch. In marriage you have to find the right balance of setting your pride aside and letting your pride ride. There were times where each one of use thought that we might not make it, but we kept at it. Relationships always come to a place that I call the “is it worth it?” point. Because when things get hard, as people we need to know if all of the trouble is worth it in the end. Because, let’s face it, every problem has a resolution. But if two people are not a right fit, then they are not a right fit and no amount of pushing, pulling or prodding will make it work. But every time we have ever been faced with that question (“is it worth it?”), the answer has always turned out to be a heartful, resounding “yes!”; so we kept on at it. And we are at a place in our lives right now where we are happy with our present, proud of our past and exuberant about our future. And we could not ask for more.
It’s been an amazing ten year journey since we exchanged vows. We never even had a full wedding ceremony. Maybe that will come later on one of our anniversaries, but I am looking forward to all the years to come, one by one. When we were 2 years in, everyone used to say “Oh, you guys are newlyweds!” and it drove me insane. My late Uncle Prakash pulled me aside and gave me a piece of advise that I cherish to this day. He said that he and his wife were married for 20+ years (I don’t remember the number) and one of the ways they made it so long was by not living for tomorrow, but for today; by not looking forward to 10 years when you’re only at 2 years. He said, if you’re at 6 months, then look forward to 1 year; if you’re 4 years, then look forward to 5 and so on and so on. Take the time to enjoy what you have while you have it, because if you look too far into the future, you will get lost in the present. So, we take it one year at a time and one day at a time, and his words carry us through. Here’s to a wonderful 10 years!
My Kavita, My Poetry. My Love. I Love You. Happy Ten!
Filed under: the ether, the sweetst thing, Uncategorized | Tags: baby, barbarque, bm, bowel moevement, brunch, first tooth, parents, weekend
it was another wonderful weekend. I tell you, on Saturday night it actually felt like it should have been Sunday night. the weekend just felt long. and as is becoming a custom, it was all about Keshav.
we went to a brunch on Saturday in Milton with some great friends and Keshav was the life of the party, lol. he was rollin’ around on the wooden floor, laughing with everyone, sitting on sofas and chairs and just making friends the only way he can, lol. he tried some grapes courtesy of his Momma and he loved them. she would squeeze out some grape juice and liquefy the pulp and give him some and he just kept reaching for more and smacking his lips…it was great. then we stopped in by my aunt’s house and saw some cousins and our uncle. by that time Mr. Popularity was tired and edgy, but me managed to be in utter wonderment at everyone there too!
sunday was no different. we went to see our cousins and aunt & uncle’s across town again. we had a barbeque this time and the food was off the chain. and I gotta say, it feels spectacular that he’s actually getting to know them! I think he’s recognizing their faces and smiles and he’s a lot more playful now. it’s such a great pay-off to invest time into family! and another thing happened on sunday too…Keshav’s first tooth came out! it’s just barely peaking out of his little gums, but it’s there. it’s sharp and it’s the lone ranger right now. I’ve heard parents from all over the world say it for years, but that kid is growing so fast. he’ll be crawling and walking all over the place before we know it.
and I gotta say…I never thought I’d be so concerned about bowel movements. it’s such a major topic of concern and conversation now…Keshav’s bowel movements. if he doesn’t have any for a day it’s almost the first thing I ask when I talk to my wife on the phone. now, I won’t get into all of the gooey details but let’s just say he had a much-needed and very good BM yesterday. I think me & Kavita actually high-fived each other, haha. an awesome way to cap off the weekend 🙂
a cork board 